Friday, March 6, 2009

Time For A Poem. . .

This has nothing to do with anything... just a piece that came up out of the woodwork a few years back. . .
............ Odyssey
Homer Stern phoned me last night
He had been called up
By his local Marine Corps Reserve commander
And given twenty four hours to report
He was debating the pros and cons
Of that old psychological dilemma
Fight or Flight
His pessimism was apparent
He says to me, “Joe, I know one thing…
The results of the census must be in.
And the bottom line is
That there are too many of us
For our own good,
So some of us have got to go.
And since they can’t take thirty or
Forty thousand of us out and gas us, quietly,
They are going to let Saddam Hussein do it instead.
He was the low bidder
On a secret Pentagon contract for the work.
Quadaffi in Libya wanted the job,
But he wanted too much.
Iraq could do it cheaper.
The deal wasn’t too hard to arrange.
It involved payments through two front countries
And some fairly complicated trading in oil futures
On the New York Mercantile Exchange.
But hell, nothing is impossible these days.
Rumor has it that Ollie North was hired on
As a consultant.
Anyway, Hussein was paid in advance,
And agreed to send a formidable military circus
Into Kuwait just to keep things on the up and up.”
I asked Homer how he knew all this
When even Ted Koppel on ABC News
Was obviously still in the dark.
He said, “Joe, you are probably
Not going to believe this, but
I went to the airport yesterday
To check on flights to Vancouver
And who should appear in the departure area
But Jesse Jackson !
With his own little travelling circus.
In the confusion of juggling luggage
I noticed a bible fall out
Of his carry on flight bag
And Homer was nimble, Homer was quick
And I picked it up and made off with it.”
“Now Joe,” he says, “This here bible,
Which is an honest to goodness
King James Authorized New American Double Standard
Just happens to be signed by George Bush.
Now you tell me what Jesse Jackson
Is doing bound for Iraq carrying a bible
Signed by George Bush.
And tucked into the bible
Was a typewritten sheet which outlined
All of the aforementioned information.”
I says to him, “Homer, Homer old pal,
Have you been drinking?”
He says, “Yes. Hell yes.
You’d be drinking too,” he says,
“If you knew you had to choose
Between flight meaning permanent exile
And staying to fight
Facing possible death.
I mean, let’s face it,” he says, “who wants to die
In some desert so fat Americans can continue
To drive big cars and guzzle cheap beer ?”
“Homer,” I ask him, “have you ever looked at death
As just another form of exile ?
Exile with honor ?”
“Yeah Joe,” he says, “but think for a minute
About all the girls in Australia.
And besides, one day I might just write
A sequel to the Odyssey.”

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