Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A Batrachian Rhapsody . . .

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Just a few posts down, about a week ago, under the title of Blog Encounters, a photo was published which purportedly was the portrait of the author of this blog, Mr. Toad himself. But as I explained afterwards to one or two of you good and comprehending readers, in fact it is very rare that I have the seemingly human physical appearance which was visible in that photograph. The vast majority of the time I spend clothed in a thick and rather bumpy skin, with sort of bulging eyes which rarely blink, webbed feet and hands, powerful back legs, the better to hop with as I make my way around the local forests, seeking out tender insects to munch on, when not just sitting still and contemplating the beauty to be found within my field of vision.
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Occasionally, especially in the evening, I am known to emit a series of deep and far-carrying croaks, to determine if their are any other toads in the vicinity, particularly those of the fairer toad sex. The only time I metamorphose back to my human form is within a 24 period of being kissed by any human female who still retains memories of having once dreamed of becoming a princess and living in a castle. This only happens rarely, as few can be tempted to bring themselves to kiss my amphibian lips. So the photos below are indeed portraits of my true and untransformed self, believe it or not . . .
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And of course these two photos from both sides reminds me of that well known song with the line in it that goes :
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"I've looked at toads from both sides now
From left and right and still somehow
It's toads illusions I recall
I really don't know toads . . . at all . . . "
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So, would you kiss this face ? Do you think he needs a bath first ?
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Even our cat Noisette took one sniff and backed away carefully, she knew right away that this was one batrachean not to be messed with !
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(PS . . . There are those who might try to tell you that this was just an ordinary garden variety sort of common bufonidae toad that had hopped into a certain blog author's driveway yesterday, and that there is nothing really special or magic about him at all; but I wouldn't pay much heed to such dull and loutish opinions, how could such a totally amazing creature not have a bit of magic in it ?)
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34 comments:

louciao said...

Toadally awesome!

English Rider said...

A Merlinesque "Familiar!" What a Beaut.

Jill said...

Those fiery golden eyes are his best feature...And I think his expression says "Don't mess with me!"

Amy said...

Wow, does he look fierce for such a small creature!

The texture of his skin is so cool, but I don't think I'd be touching him to find out. Or kissing him. Despite those golden bronze eyes.

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pRiyA said...

Hi Owen, I think Mr. Toad is magnificent. I wouldn't want him to turn into a prince. I like him just the way he is. His face has more gravity and dignity than a human face. He fascinates.

Meanwhile, this time I have a link for you which I found through Facebook. A French photographer too:
http://mesimagesdinde.blogspot.com/

Alberto Oliver said...

Hahaha, i always knew that supposed self portrait would be more like some kind of a temporary shape in order to come and taste how it feel to be a boring human, magicians!! they are always looking after some fun =)=)

Steve said...

That toad looks knowingly content in a slightly kissable kind of way. Not that I'm offering (not being one of the fairer sex).

Alberto Oliver said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
French Fancy said...

What a great creature. Incidentally I saw four dead frogs yesterday when out walking the bichons. Maybe there is frog flu around.

Jessie said...

Nope! Bath or no bath you wouldn't get me to kiss that face. Amazing photos! :)

TechnoBabe said...

I couldn't kiss a toad but I would be nice to it and take care of it.

Nevine said...

Owen, you're outrageous! But, Mr. Toad you are, if you say so. We all have a doppelganger, don't we... somewhere out there... And our double doesn't really have to look like the physique we show the world. Ah, you make me hallucinate, now. And I'm getting ready to go to work. But here, I could not, for the life of me, think of the name of that song. And I was so tempted to go to my google bar and copy and paste in the lyrics. But, you told me not to cheat, yeah? So, here I am. Now, you tell me.

Thank you for sharing your lovely froggy photos. He really is such a cute and endearing fellow, though I would look only from far away. Well, that Princess and the Frog fairy tale now comes to mind. She kissed the frog and... the rest is, well, history. Still, ewwwwwwwwww! But love the pix! ;-)

Nevine

Bill Evertson said...

Never one to look a gift toad in the mouth you've gone one better with the suggestion of a kiss. But, from the comments while we enjoy the encounter you may well be unkissed despite a bath. Nice close ups!

Stickup Artist said...

Oh, that close up is AWESOME. Nothing looks ordinary or common when shot like that! I just love that foto. The textures, the eyes, and the little star reflection on the left eye is perfect!

Have you heard the tale that if you lick a frog, they secrete something that will give you a buzz?

Never ventured there myself and with that slimy bumpy exterior, don't expect to any time soon!

But when you change into your altar ego, mind you don't get licked by some crazy joy seeker!

jeff said...

Très réussi comme auto-portrait... mais tu aurais pû te maquiller avant de poser pour cette photo !
Qu'est-ce qu'il est moche ton crapaud ! Tu crois qu'une belle et jeune femme aurait envie de t'embrasser avec un tel aspect ?...
Mais on raconte que certains crapauds se transforme en grenouille, d'où un effet quasiment nul car il y a toujours la même obligation de se déplacer en sautant pour envisager d'aller d'un point à un autre !
Figure-toi ( coupe le son, on pourrait nous entendre ) que j'en ai décapité deux avec ma débroussailleuse alors que j'étais en Italie, et qu'ils sont restés comme ça, dans la même position que ton magnifique crapaud... sans la tête ! ! !...(8[
Qu'est-ce que c'est c.. un crapaud ! ! ! Mais ça sert à tant et tant de choses, que je ne sais plus finalement à quoi ! ! ! Peut-être à ce qu'il y ait moins de mouches en été ou des moustiques ?... Ou bien à nous empêcher de dormir la nuit en nous chantant leur crôa crôa sous les fenêtres... ?...:)
Ton chat a l'air bien intrigué par cette grosse bête ! ! ! Est-ce lui qui a tenté le baiser et qui s'est transformé en Owen...ou l'inverse... ou... je ne sais plus ce que je raconte...!

Ciao man !
Et si c'était une belle princesse de 20 ans cachée dans ton jardin ?
Mais alors... j'aurais flingué deux superbes filles avec ma faucille à moteur ? ! ?...(8|
Bizarre tout ça... ( gloups ! )

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Such a charming fellow that Mr. Toad. Now, how does it work? A fair maiden kisses you and you transform into that hideous pale skinned biped with no webbing between the toes?

Loulou said...

Amazing creature with a bit of magic I agree!
But who am I talking about...? :-)
take care
Loulou

PS - Arnaud and I will wait for your visit on Friday...

Roxana said...

ahahahah

Owen said...

Dear Lynne, you must be careful some toads are known to start slobbering when confronted with awful puns....

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Hi ER... ain't he a beauty ?

Owen said...

Jill, it's the fire in his heart that shows in his eyes...

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Hi Amy,
Ah, poor toad, a golden soul in a repulsive package...it's a hard life...

Owen said...

Dear Anony mouse, thanks for stopping in...

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Hi Priya, ah you are too kind, and if you like him so much as a toad, then maybe I'll stay in toad form for a while. I'll just have to avoid getting kissed...
;-)

Owen said...

Hey Alberto... of course magicians are looking for ways to have fun, that is the whole purpose of learning magic in the first place...
:-)

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Steve, well, you could hold my portrait up outside the fish and chips place you wrote about and see if any of the young Leamington Ladies would like to kiss it... I must be more attractive in toad form than the guy inside whose been whistling at them ?!?

Owen said...

Hi FF, oh dear, that is not good news, I hope it isn't frog flu, that's the last thing we need, is another global pandemic, now that swine flu has pretty much fizzled out, and bird flu seems to have flown off into the distance. Sometimes our more unfortunate frog and toad friends get run over while trying to cross the road... was that the case with yours? May they rest, and croak in the heavenly fields of forever...

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Hi Jessie, wow, even with a bath ? Well, I guess toad kisses aren't for everyone...
:-)

Owen said...

Hi TechnoB, I'm sure you would be an excellent toadsitter...

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Dear Nevine,
Apparently there are some varieties of toads that actually secrete a hallucinogen on their skin, and there are some folks that actually go and lick them to have strange experiences... could that explain why you're hallucinating there ?????

As for the song, well, the I changed the lyrics ever so slightly, but this is the song in question :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLFWFhUYalw&feature=related

If you listen carefully you'll see where I changed a word...

Take care and don't work too hard...
:-)

Owen said...

Hey Bill, yeah, jeez, I don't get it, here I thought there'd be people lining up for blocks to get a chance to kiss those lovely toad lips... and there don't seem to be any takers finally. Maybe it's my perfume ?
:-)

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Hi StickUp...
Yeah, I remember reading that somewhere long ago about toads... but never tried it... :-)

But it's never too late in life for an old dog to try new tricks, eh ? It's crazy how some toads and frogs are poisonous, others hallucinogenic, and some make tasty eating... though it's been a long time since I had any frog's legs. Sort of like mushrooms...

Well, if I see anyone running after me with their tongue hanging out, I'm heading for the hills !

Owen said...

Ah Jeff, tu me fais trop rire ! Sauf quand tu raconte les crapauds décapités... ça c'est dommage quand même, il faut que je pense à rester loin si tu ressors ta débrousailleuse ! Tu n'étais pas en train de filmer un "re-make" du film "The Texas Toad Chainsaw Massacre" ?

Les crapauds sont des petits copains paisibles... j'espère que tu leur as donné des funerailles au moins à l'hauteur ?

Bon, donc toi aussi tu pense qu'il n'y aura pas de candidat pour m'embrasser ? Bah zut alors, je serais donc condamné à passer des années comme ça? Surement quelquepart sur cette planète il y a une princesse qui voudrait me restaurer à mon forme humain... ? La vie est bien belle, n'est-ce pas ?

Bon, bonne tise, et stp fait attention avec tes outils de jardinage, avec le printemps tu vas les ressortir sans doute...

Ciao pixman the hitman !

Owen said...

Hi LGS, well, something like that, I think a little more experimentation is needed...

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Chère Loulou ! ah, I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about... Heureusement je ne me suis pas présenté dans ce forme là aux Tuilleries... ! Pour vendredi, et oui, je passerai surement après le boulot, pour vous ça pourrait être samedi, mais j'y serai... bonne chance !!! Et bises !!!

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Ah Roxana-ahahaha,
I suppose that could be interpreted in many ways, all of which leave Mr Toad with an even larger smile than already the case... and I'm sure your laughter was musical...
:-)

ρομπερτ said...

Years, probably a decade since last seen and heard...thank you for the many memories.

Please have you all a nice Thursday.

Karine A. said...

:-)))
Le conte de fée réinventé... C'est vrai, pourquoi c'est pas le prince qui reçoit le bisou et qui devient un beau crapaud ( hein la grenouille?c'est pas elle qui dira le contraire...)
Et puis, même Schrek est d'accord....

Karine A. said...

ce crapaud est vraiment splendide ...

Nathalie said...

LOL at your last line!

Même quand j'entends coasser dans tous les sens autour de moi je n'arrive jamais à voir les crapauds dissimulés dans les herbes au bord de l'eau. Alors faire des photos, je n'y pense même pas. Ce qu'il me faudrait c'est comme toi, un brave volontaire pour venir se planter juste devant moi en terrain découvert. Trop facile pour la photo !

Merci à celui-là de s'être prêté à l'exercice avec autant de gentillesse. J'en déduis qu'il espérait vraiment être embrassé !!!

Lydia said...

He is so very very fine. Very fine, indeed!

Lane said...

Ah Mr Toad, you are very fine indeed - a most handsome specimen. I can quite understand why you might blanch at talk of squishing or re-cycling. And I'm glad Noisette was sensible enough to leave you alone. A toad such as yourself is not to be messed with:-)